


Sapphire and Silver

by spelledink



Category: Xenogears
Genre: Drama, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-01
Updated: 2018-06-01
Packaged: 2019-05-16 20:57:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14818722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spelledink/pseuds/spelledink
Summary: Maria Balthasar investigates Zeboim 10 years after the events in Xenogears. She finds a lost love, and Miang Hawwa finds a path to redemption.Maria/Miang romanceMaria is 23 years old, Miang is reborn at a similar age.





	Sapphire and Silver

**Author's Note:**

> Miang and Maria are both adults during the romance part of the story.
> 
> “Myah” is Miang’s alias during much of the story while she keeps her identity secret.  
> (version of Myyah Hawwa name)

**Sapphire and Silver**

**A Xenogears fanfiction.**

**This story is a non-profit work of fanfiction, for entertainment purposes only. Xenogears is the property of Square/Enix.**

 

Maria Balthasar raked her hand impatiently through her long silver hair, green eyes narrowed in irritation.

_Intelligence reports were always like this. Largely lacking in intelligence._

The young lieutenant in Shevat’s security division sighed in frustration. More reports of strange occurrences in Aquvy. Always Aquvy. Especially the lost city of Zeboim. She rose from her desk, abandoning the data feed from her terminal, walking over to the window of her office, sliding open the glass door to her balcony. The wind ruffling the skirt of her white officer’s uniform, edged in blue.

She looked down over the vista spreading below her. The wide expanse of blue sea meeting the shores of the island she lived upon. Her office in the Spire commanded a breathtaking view of her home. In the distance, she could see a round shape, protruding from a field of green. The remnants of the former capital of Shevat. The crumbling tower of the old palace rising crookedly from the shattered disc. The city of the skies would never fly again.

Without the trapped power of the Wave Existence, the old technology no longer worked. Ships lay dormant. Even the great omnigears had fallen silent, their power exhausted after the final battle against Deus. Shevat’s flagship, the Yggdrasil, had to be retrofitted over to a Zeboim fusion reactor.

 _Zeboim._ _The ancient city of the dead. A blessing, after the war, for its technology. But also, the source of all their current problems._ A quiet arms race now raged, hidden, between Kislev, Aveh, and Shevat. Maria shook her head. Some things never changed. The spectre of war seemed to return in different guises, again and again.

At first, Shevat had the upper hand, due to its proximity to Aquvy, but that advantage did not last. Soon the other nations sent ships and salvagers to the region, looking for the remnants of cities that now lay under the waves. The intervention of Nisan had barely prevented open hostilities. The old friendships were fading, strained between former allies. Elhaym van Houten, “Mother Sophia”, had barely contained the last debacle. Aveh and Kislev forces skirmishing at Babel Tower. The war with Solaris had not ended the perpetual struggle over resources, only postponed it.

Maria let out a sigh, as the breeze fluttered through her hair _._

_Ten years. Ten years since the great war. Ten years since she had last entered the cockpit of Siebzhen to fight._

She’d been 13 then. A child filled with only anger and loneliness after her father’s death. Now, twenty-three, a soldier, and still no closer to peace.

_Sitting behind a desk reading reports won’t help. If enemies lurked in Zeboim, she had to see for herself._

A thought came to her. The words of an enemy from long ago. _“To win, first you must fight, with your own blood at hazard.”_

A memory of cobalt eyes, and amethyst hair. Maria blushed, her hand straying to her throat, to a teardrop pendant, sapphire and silver. Remembering a mistake, a battle, and a kiss.

* * *

  ** _10 years before -_**

The tower of Solaris rose before them, piercing the sky as its barrier fell, torn apart by Siebzhen’s cannon. Maria stood in the open cockpit, the wind blowing her hair askew, barely kept from her eyes by the gold ribbon holding it. Solaris. Home of the enemy.

Enemies who turned her father into a monster. Into a thing, half flesh, half machine. Achtzehn. The ones who forced her to fight him…to…kill. Maria knew the fault was hers, in the end. Father was a puppet, and Seibzhen, a machine.

_No, the pilot always owns the kill._

The others wanted her to stay back. They thought she was too vulnerable, overwrought. They didn’t trust her. The Queen, Elly, all of them. It did not matter. She would not be stayed or held back.

_I will be the dark wings of death for them all. For all Solaris. They will know my rage, and know fear. And then they will end._

She waited while the Fei led the team in. Reading her instruments carefully. She needed a place to land. She would show them. She would show them all. She was no coward, no child.

_I am the daughter of Nikolai. And I will have my revenge._

The heads-up display blinked orange, showing an opportunity. A small landing bay, used for freight. Maria smiled.

Good, this would work.

Small enough to escape notice, but large enough to house her Gear. She pushed Seibzhen into a steep dive, quickly heading towards her destination.

The landing zone was quiet. Large packing containers stacked everywhere. She scanned their sides. Food, medicine, weapons. Everything needed to wage a war. Probably meant for the Gebler special forces scattered across Ignas. Solaris was getting serious, now that Aveh and Nisan had revolted. It would be bloody days ahead.

Maria popped Seibzhen’s canopy open and hopped lightly down to the floor. Slipping a pair of heavy gauntlets onto her fists. Her hands and her ether power were all she would need. But she would need a distraction. She pulled a gray satchel off her back, peering inside. Six round devices. Flat. Each with a small timer on top. Demolition charges. Get these close to an information hub or a munitions depot, and the enemy would notice. They’d come straight to her, and away from the infiltration team. Right into her trap. _Seibzhen._ Maria’s lips widened into a feral smile.

_Yes, and then they’ll pay._

Maria paused by the entrance to a small office at the far end of the cargo bay. She darted inside, searching a computer terminal on a deserted desk. Her fingers flickered over the keyboard, searching for a map. _“_

_Got it._

A three-dimensional hologram sprung into life next to the terminal, rotating slowly. A sector map for this area, Maria assumed. She scanned the readout. If she used the maintenance catwalks nearby, she could access a fusion reactor powering the area. She could use the explosives there. That kind of damage would definitely bring notice.

_Just what I want._

Maria searched the office, gaining a small yellow keycard marked _maintenance_. She then exited the cargo bay, and headed west, towards the catwalks. Maria spied a ladder leading upwards, towards the entrance. Climbing up the ladder, she pushed against the hatch leading to the catwalks. Locked. Growling, Maria focused her ether into a purple corona around her right fist, smashing it against the lock. The steel shattered like glass. Pushing against the hatch, she quickly steeped onto the maintenance catwalk. Pale red work lights illuminated the path. Maria continued to head west, towards the reactor room.

A large door lay ahead. A spinning red hazard light atop it. A yellow and black sign read: “Caution, radiation.” A computer terminal sat by the door. A small box next to the machine. The legend, “insert keycard” printed helpfully on it. Maria took the keycard from her pocket, sliding it into the reader.

The security door opened silently. The reactor inside, pipes and conduits running from it in all directions. It was encased in a large spherical shell. Impervious to normal attack. But that was not her target. She needed to destroy the computers. If they were destroyed, the reactor would run out of control, causing an explosion. Simple, brutal, and effective.

Maria pulled the satchel from her back, removing the demolition charges. She placed two by each of the three mainframes in the room, timed to explode simultaneously. The reactor would be unable to perform an emergency shutdown. Arming each device, Maria quickly backtracked out of the reactor room. Pausing at the end of the catwalk, she readied herself, climbing down the ladder.

Maria rushed down the corridor, back towards the loading dock. When the reactor blew, security would swarm the area.

_And I’ll be ready with Seibzhen._

Maria entered the loading dock, then skidded to a stop, her senses suddenly alert. A heavy object clanged to the floor in front of her. She looked at it, sudden dread clenching her stomach.

_A demolition charge. One of mine._

A figure stepped into view, hands clapping. A woman. A Gebler officer. A tight, white dress uniform flattering her curves and long legs. A rapier at her side. Short amethyst hair and deep, blue eyes. “No boom today,” she said, smirking.

On edge, Maria readied her weapons. The woman smiled easily. Her eyes playful, warm. “What a performance, my dear,” she said. “Such dedication. Such passion,” she purred. “Although that fusion reactor would’ve killed hundreds when it went up. Or does that not bother you?”

A flash of rage consumed Maria. She hissed, voice rough. “You people killed my father! You turned him into a thing, a monster without a conscience!” The woman stood calmly, no reaction to Maria’s words. “Ah, let’s tell truths here, my sweet,” the officer replied, stepping closer. “Krelian did change your father, yes. But you, you were the one who killed him, Maria Balthasar.”

“You bitch!” Maria seethed. The woman smiled. “There’s no need for poor manners,” she said. “If it’s a fight you’re after, I’m perfectly willing to oblige.” “Fuck you!” snarled Maria, ether lighting her arms with violet flame. “It seems I’ve upset you,” the woman lightly replied. “Oh well, shall we begin? I’m in the mood for a little…entertainment.”

“I’ll win, and you’ll be the one to fall,” said Maria. “Ah, so brave,” chuckled the woman. “To win, first you must fight, with your own blood at hazard,” the woman said. “Have you ever fought a battle you could lose, Maria?”

Maria leapt at the woman, fist whistling through the air and hitting…nothing. Maria whipped around, the woman suddenly behind her. “My turn,” the officer smiled, sword out in an instant. A heavy slash barely blocked by Maria’s gauntlets. Maria skidded backwards as the blow hit. 

_She’s strong. But she’s holding back, playing with me. Damn her._

Enraged, Maria summoned her ether power. Waves of heat and force rippling up and down her body. Her opponent chucked. “Ah, now you’ve come out to play, my pretty one,” she said. “Now the dance truly begins.”

A sudden wave of force exploded, hitting Maria like a punch to the stomach. The woman stood, wreathed in red fire, the room shaking from its turbulence. Her eyes gleamed with pleasure. “Well, what are you waiting for?” she said. “Let’s have some fun.”

Maria exploded into action, charging the woman, power fueling her rush. She just… stopped, inches away. Held fast by the woman’s flame. The soldier gestured with her right hand, and Maria flew backwards, slamming painfully to the ground. “Now, now,” the woman chided. “The first rule of any dance is not to trip.”

Maria screamed, “Siebzhen, Robo Punch!” Her hand stretched out to her Gear. Seibzhen rose, fist reaching towards Maria’s opponent. The woman spun, waving her arm, a wall of rippling force catching the machine. “Ah, ah,” she said to Maria, wagging a finger. “Gears are cheating.” She reached towards Maria, clenching her fist. Maria shot towards the officer, pulled by an invisible hand. The woman gracefully skipped to the side, grabbing Maria by one arm, hurling her into Siebzhen. Maria fell painfully, head ringing.

Maria rose, fists clenched. Flying at the woman. Hurling punches and kicks. Yet none connected. Frustrated, panting, her rage ignited. Power exploded from inside her, rushing outwards, a sudden tsunami. A haze of white covered her eyes for a moment, her ears ringing. Maria staggered, drained, falling to one knee.

The woman stared at Maria, a strange look on her face.

_Almost like…pride. Could it be she’s…pleased?_

The Gebler officer walked towards Maria, clothes ripped and tattered. A cut bleeding on her left cheek. Bodice torn, revealing creamy skin. Closing the distance, she smiled. “Here ends the lesson,” she said. The pommel of her rapier impacted Maria’s head, and she fell, unconscious.

Maria stirred, senses sluggish, rising from slumber. Her head resting on something incredibly soft, and warm. The scent of wildflowers surrounding her. Fingers running through her hair. Weaving through its length, plucking the ribbon out. A song, softly hummed. Sad, yet beautiful, in Maria’s ears. Nostalgic, touching something deep inside her. She snuggled into the warmth, unwilling to get up. “A little longer,” she whispered. “Just a little longer, please.” A light chuckle sounded. The voice familiar.

Maria opened her eyes. Blinking at the sudden light. A face coming into view. Amethyst hair, and deep blue eyes. Like the surface of a fathomless lake. 

_So deep, so beautiful… I could fall in._

She felt her arms slip up, around the woman’s neck. Lost in her eyes. Wanting just to stay, unwilling to move. Maria shuddered, as a strange warmth lit in her belly. A faint memory tickling, at the edge of her consciousness, like something half forgotten. The gentle fingers still playing in her hair. Her.

Maria started, rising from the woman’s lap. “You’re here,” she said. “Yes,” the woman replied. “I am.” Maria studied the woman. “Why am I not dead?”

The woman shrugged. “You seem to be quite adept at breathing,” she said. “Besides, I had quite an enjoyable time with you.” Maria blushed scarlet. “Oh, not that way,” the woman smirked. “I just didn’t want anything to happen to my little playmate. So, I took care of you.” Maria frowned. “Took care of me?” The woman nodded. “Yes, a little healing, a little rest,” she replied.

“Thank you,” said Maria, voice faltering. “That’s not what I would expect of an…enemy.” The woman’s smile dropped for a moment. “Sometimes it’s nice, not to be a soldier, to just feel free,” she said, softly.

Maria sighed, looking quizzically at the woman. “What do I call you? I don’t even know that much,” she said. The officer pursed her lips. “You can call me…Miang. I’m in Gebler, as you can guess,” she said. “I work with commander Ramsus.”

“Ramsus,” said Maria. “Kahran Ramsus?” Miang nodded. “The same,” she nodded. Maria’s eyes widened. “So, what now? Am I your prisoner?” Miang laughed. “No, not at all,” she said. “You’re free to go.” Maria gasped. “Really?” “Of course,” replied Miang. “I had a lovely time… sparring, so yes.” Maria stammered. “I…uh, thank you,” she said.

“You really should be leaving soon,” sighed Miang. Her voice disappointed. “It seems your friends have been causing trouble all over Etrenank.” Maria lowered her eyes. “My friends?” Miang raised Maria’s chin up, giving her a smile. “Now don’t be like that, you know exactly what I mean,” she scolded. “But, since they’re bothering Krelian, I’m not in a big hurry to help.” Miang grasped Maria’s hands and helped her to her feet.

“You’ve been very brave, so I have a reward for you,” said Miang, lips gently curving. Maria cocked her head. “Reward?” “Call it a lucky charm,” Miang said. She reached behind her neck, removing a pendant. Silver, shaped like a teardrop, a sapphire framed within. Miang placed it around Maria’s neck. “Maybe some time when you need it, it will help you.” Maria nodded. “Now, what about my reward?” Miang said.

“But I, I don’t have anything,” said Maria, face red. Miang looked at her strangely for a moment. As though caught in recollection. “Well, how about this?” she said. She leaned in gently capturing Maria’s lips with her own. One hand delicately cupping her cheek. Miang leaned back, eyes luminous. “Yes,” she said, her voice thoughtful. “That was…perfect.”

Miang sighed, her tone darkening. “Soon, this place will be gone, and the world will change,” she said. “Deus comes, and takes all our choices. Even those we wish to keep.” She paused. “I hope…I hope I do not see you again,” she said. “I…would not like to see you hurt.” Miang squeezed Maria’s hand, then walked away, out of the cargo bay.

* * *

  ** _Present day-_**

Maria touched the pendant around her neck. A flush running through her body. Strange, the feelings she still held. After all this time. Maria shook her head roughly.

_Not that it matters. Miang has been dead for a decade. Since Fei defeated Urobolus, and rescued Elly._

Maria paused, still toying with the necklace.

_Strange though. My first kiss._

_Since that time, I’ve never had another. Have always avoided relationships._

_Why?_

Maria let out a frustrated breath.

 _What does it matter?_ _She’s dead, and there’s more important things to worry about than a silly crush._

Maybe she could talk about it later, with Elly. She might understand. She had known the woman, after all, had shared her mind.

_Time to see the commander._

It was time to see for herself what was happening at the Zeboim dig. Maria stiffly exited the balcony. Striding though the door of her apartment, heading for the administrative section.

Maria stood before a large, solid door. The office of the commander. Her patron. The man who had rebuilt the broken nation of Shevat ten years ago. Through will and strength alone. Who raised the Spire, transformed the Snowfield, and built the Republic of Shevat. Kahran Ramsus, second only to the Queen.

Maria raised her hand to knock. The door opened before she could touch it. “I was wondering when you would come in,” a voice sounded, chuckling. Maria walked in, meeting the man’s eyes. Ramsus. In a simple black pilot’s uniform. Ash blonde hair. Ice blue eyes. Lips twisted in a familiar, wry grin. “Do come in,” Ramsus waved. “Have a drink,” he said, waving at the side board. “No thank you, sir, I’m still on duty,” replied Maria. He snorted. “Of course, all business as usual, eh, Lieutenant Balthasar?” His eyes glinted. “So, what do I owe the pleasure of your visit today?” “Aquvy,” replied Maria. Ramsus nodded, voice silky. “Ah, of course,” he said. “Our favorite little problem. And how can I assist you with the Sunken Lands?”

Maria paused. “I’ve heard strange reports, from the ruins of Zeboim. Odd power fluctuations, rumors of secret chambers and hidden weapons,” she said. “Do I have your permission to investigate?” “You can fly, correct?” asked Ramsus. Maria grinned. “Yes, sir, I can.” “Take a jumpjet to the old Ethos dig site northwest of here,” Ramsus replied. “I have a team excavating there. Led by my wife. They’ve found something there, something that may have bearing on this.”

Maria frowned, thinking of the woman from Elru.

_Dominia._

Once a Solarian Element. A vicious fighter and cunning tactician. But totally devoted to Ramsus.

_As evidenced by their three children._

_Pregnant Dominia had been so funny._

Maria suddenly shuddered.

_And…scary…really, really scary._

“Ah, I see you’re remembering my love’s sweet charms,” jeered Ramsus, eyes crinkling. “In any case,” the man continued. “You’ll find one of your old comrades there. Someone who is quite familiar with those ruins, and their purpose.”

* * *

Maria strode out to the airfield. Leaving her motorcycle parked near the hanger. A mechanic waved her over, pointing towards the tarmac. “We’ve got a jumper ready for you,” she said. A young woman with friendly eyes, auburn hair bunched up into a messy ponytail. Maria nodded. She looked at the aircraft. An F-7 Scimitar. A VTOL jet, it’s wings laden with gun pods and rockets. Easy to land near the dig site, where there was no landing strip. Since the Great War, jets were now the leading edge of combat. “

_Well, Gears didn’t fly anymore._

Maria thought ruefully of Seibzhen.

Maria looked at the young woman, cocking her head. “You have a ready room?” “Yes,” the young servicewoman replied, nodding. “Just inside the hangar. You’ll find all the gear you need.” Maria strode into the dark hangar, locating a small locker room. Pulling a steel door open, she grabbed a flight suit. Stripping off her dress uniform quickly, she slipped into the white garment, edged in pink.

Maria chuckled at her reflection. “Does the skin-suit really help you fly better? It clung to her, showing off every curve, every valley. Her breasts in high relief, her ass looking…

_Actually, damn good._

The suit was probably the result of some adolescent perving, but no time for that now.

Maria remembered some talks she’d had with Elly, about her own military mishaps in fashion.

_Elly had been Special Forces in Gebler, and they made her wear a miniskirt with leggings._

Ridiculous. Although Maria still wondered about those “battle dresses” Queen Zephyr used to dress her in.

Maria grabbed a flight helmet from a nearby table and walked out to the runway. Her jet was warmed up. The ground crew waved her the go ahead enter the craft. Maria quickly stepped into the recessed foothold by the cockpit and swung inside the plane. She relaxed into the pilot’s seat, running her eyes over the familiar instrument panel. She put on her flight helmet and jacked into the oxygen line. Flicking a switch, she closed the jet’s canopy.

Maria ignited the engines, relishing the burst of power vibrating through the airframe. Vectoring the lift nozzles down, she lifted off, hovering. The shrill whine of the engines pierced the cockpit. Maria activated the jet’s swing wings, pushing it forward into level flight. Leaving the coast of the Republic quickly behind, as she sped towards Aquvy.

Turbulent sea raced under Maria as she sped towards her goal. She pushed the throttle forward, impatient. A blue haze grew on the horizon. Suddenly, in the distance, she could see a small dot of green. An island. As she drew closer, the blocky shape of a building appeared, buried into a hill.

_That’s it._

Circling around the island, she located a small grassy clearing on the north side. Maria switched the jet to hover mode and landed.

Maria trudged towards the building, anticipation and worry twisting in her stomach. The entrance lay ahead. A large steel door. Maria stepped close, looking for an access panel. Nothing. Maria, frowned, looking closer for some hidden mechanism, some trick to discover.

An amused bark of laughter. “It’s not always that hard,” a voice said. Maria turned to face the speaker. A tall woman, her tanned face crowned by a shock of unruly white hair. Her red-trimmed uniform bearing the blue and white insignia of Shevat. Sharp aquamarine eyes peered at Maria, amused. Dominia. “Sometimes a door is just a door,” she said, walking up to it. Smirking at the younger woman, she pushed with both hands. The door opened, parting in the middle. “Sometimes I wonder about you Shevites,” she said, shaking her head. “Always looking for a trick, a secret, instead of what’s right in front of you.” A brightly lit room was revealed. A large elevator before them.

Dominia boarded the open freight elevator. Maria followed. The rode down to a long, sloped shaft. At the bottom, another elevator. They boarded it in silence. Maria’s head throbbed, her thoughts on the giant necropolis below. As they exited the elevator, Dominia looked over at her, wrinkling her nose. “We’ve cleared out most of the beasts infesting this place, but be on your guard,” she warned. “If you make noise, they will attack. Still, nothing you can’t handle.”

They continued down the corridor, heading towards a flight of stairs. “After we go down another level, we’ll cross the sky bridge. You’ll see the scope of this place,” Dominia said. “You’ll see how desperate the people of Zeboim must have been.”

A quiet skittering. Something moving ahead in the quiet hallways. Coming closer. “Company,” murmured Dominia. Maria readied her gauntlets, flexing her hands. Four reptilian shapes approached. “Carriers,” hissed Dominia, drawing a sword from her belt. The creatures charged, fang and claw bared. Dominia stepped forward quickly, decapitating one. Another leapt at Maria, teeth snapping. She grabbed the creature by the throat, slamming it into the hard, concrete floor. Its skull shattered. Another beast charged at Maria’s back. Dominia halted it, her blade piercing its heart. Maria nodded her thanks. One left. Maria’s right hand flashed to her side, drawing a small revolver. A gift from Billy Black. Two shots rang out, and the creature sagged, dead.

Dominia grinned. “So, the Etone gave you a present, huh? He must really like you,” she jibed. Maria flushed, face hot. “It’s not like that,” she snapped. “He’s just…he’s just an old friend.” “Uh-huh,” said Dominia. “An old _single_ friend, who makes excuses to visit the Spire, instead of staying at the orphanage with Primera.” “Oh, drop it, Dominia,” replied Maria. “I don’t have time for…dating.” Dominia eyed Maria. “Why? You’re pretty enough, especially in that suit,” she smirked. “Plenty of boys and girls have given you the eye before.” Maria coughed, embarrassed. “I’m not like that. I don’t need to be with somebody to feel happy.”

Dominia shrugged. “I used to think that way too. I never thought feelings were that important,” she said. “And when I did fall in love, I thought it was hopeless, considering who it was. I’m just lucky I had good friends to help me. Friends who thought I should take a chance.”

Maria looked at Dominia, curious. “How _did_ you and Ramsus get together?” “A conspiracy,” replied Dominia, smiling. “It was just after the war. We had to fly daily combat patrols to guard the city.” “For some reason my fighter, an old F-5, kept acting up. The engines kept cutting out at the oddest times,” Dominia said. “Kelvena looked at it and said she didn’t know what to do.” “That must’ve been bad,” said Maria.

Dominia continued. “Tolone told me to ask the commander to take a look at it. It was a good idea, so I asked him,” she said. “He was just as baffled as I was, so he decided to test it out.”

Maria leaned in. “What happened?” “We took the fighter up. He was at the controls, and I took the back seat,” said Dominia. “He flew it northwest for a while, and everything was good. Then suddenly, the engine died. He managed to make it to a small island. Then we realized that the emergency beacon wasn’t working. We were stuck.”

“We were there for ten days. On a tropical island. A very _warm_ island,” said Dominia. “Uniforms were definitely…optional,” she grinned. “We had to swim in the lagoon to stay cool. So, let’s just say…Kahr _noticed things_. Not that I was complaining about the view, either.”

Maria blushed, “And then?” “As hot as daytime was, the nights were pretty cold,” said Dominia. “After a couple of nights, we ran out of driftwood for the fire. So, we needed to find another way to keep warm,” Dominia smirked. “And as they say, one thing led to another.”

“On the tenth day, a float plane landed near the island. It was Seraphita. She got us on the plane and flew us home. Safe and sound.”

But here’s the best part,” Dominia continued. “The part about friends and taking chances. When I got back to our apartment, the girls took one look at my face and started cheering. I didn’t understand. Then Kelvena handed me a small box, from my fighter. From the throttle controls,” said Dominia. “She’d sabotaged it, so we’d be stuck. Same thing with the beacon,” she said. “They were all in on it.”

Dominia looked at Maria. “And you know what I did?” Maria shook her head. “I started to cry, and told them how much I loved them,” Dominia said, her voice wistful. “It’s funny...if it wasn’t for them, and their stupid plan, I’d still be alone. Because I wasn’t brave enough to tell him how I felt.”

Maria stood silent. “That’s a great story,” she said. “But I don’t have somebody like that.” She paused. “When I was young, I used to feel like there was someone out there. Someone that was meant just for me,” Maria said. “And?” probed Dominia. “That feeling never really faded. It’s like I felt I just needed to wait. I don’t know,” Maria sighed.

“And did you ever meet that someone?” asked Dominia. “Maybe…maybe once I thought I liked someone,” said Maria. “But it doesn’t matter now.” Dominia widened her eyes. “Somebody you knew?” Maria nodded. “Yeah, but…the war. She’s gone now,” she said.

“That doesn’t mean there isn’t someone out there for you,” replied Dominia. “Duty is fine, but it doesn’t keep you warm at night,” she said. “Maybe it’s just taken me ten years and three kids to understand it, but loving someone doesn’t make you soft, or weak. It’s hard, and it can be scary, but it’s worth it.”

* * *

 Dominia opened the door to the skybridge. They walked to the center, looking out on the ancient city spread below them. A dim red glow suffused the ruins. “Incredible,” breathed Maria. “I had no idea it was so massive.” “Yes, an entire city,” said Dominia. “Factories, workshops, hospitals, schools. But they were the last of their kind. A race dying out from radiation and infertility.”

“It’s so sad,” mused Maria. “Yes,” replied Dominia. “You weren’t here last time,” she said. “This city was the last of Zeboim. A shelter, really. Scientists desperately trying to save their people.”

“They didn’t succeed,” Maria replied. “No,” said Dominia. “They failed. But they left this city behind. Their knowledge, their secrets.” “The secrets of a dead people,” said Maria, voice subdued. “No wonder this place feels like a tomb.” Dominia nodded. “Because it is,” she said. “A city of ghosts, and defeated dreams.”

“Ten years ago, we found one secret in particular,” Dominia said. “A weapon. With it, Solaris might have won the war. But Krelian squandered it, and Solaris burned,” Dominia said, voice bitter. “Then again, if Solaris had won, we’d all be dead now. Absorbed into Deus,” replied Maria. The other woman nodded. “True,” said Dominia. “But there was more here. More than just a single weapon.”

“You’ve found something…” Maria said. “Yes,” continued Dominia. “The lab we raided hid another. We never found it, until now,” she said. “Ten years ago, your friends stopped us. We took the weapon we found and fled. Leaving Elhaym, Dr. Uzuki, and the Fatima boy to fight Id. Never realizing what we were so close to.”

Maria frowned. “What did you take from here?” She heard the sound of boots scuffing softly. “That would be me,” a voice said. Maria turned, facing the speaker.

A graceful young woman, in a white and green flight suit. Long jade tresses, and amber eyes. Familiar, beloved. “Emmy!” she cried, rushing to her. Emeralda Kasim. Fei and Elly’s daughter. Maria hugged her. They had last met in Nisan, a year ago. She was twenty-six now. Three years older than Maria. A pilot in the Nisan defense forces. Beautiful. Poised. Confident. Maria’s oldest friend.

“What do you mean, Emmy?” asked Maria. “It’s just a little further, downstairs. You’ll see,” Emeralda replied. “It…will be easier to show you.” Crossing the bridge, they entered an elevator and headed downstairs. Emeralda led them, walking to the west. “This place used to be a maze, meant to confuse enemies,” she said. “But with the security system down, this will be much easier.”

She led them down a flight of stairs. “Up ahead, here,” said Emeralda. She pointed to a large gray door. “This one.” She opened it. A large bank of computers lay ahead. Passing them, she opened another door nearby, walking down a short corridor. Emeralda quickly opened two transparent hazmat barriers, leading them into a large room.

A circular device stood in the center of the room, concentric rings glowing slightly. Emeralda approached it, touching a panel on the side. A glowing column of green light sprang from the device, connecting to another set of rings on the ceiling. “This is a nanoreactor,” said Emeralda, her face pensive. “It can assemble or destroy material on a subatomic level,” she said. “This machine, this place, is where I was born. Or rather, created.”

Emeralda turned to Maria. “Tell me,” she began. “When we were little, what did I call Fei?” “Maria thought for a moment. “Kim,” she said. “Fei’s Kim, you used to say.” “Exactly,” she nodded. “That’s who created me. Fei, or rather, Kim. Four thousand years ago.” “You were put to sleep or something, right?” said Maria.

Emeralda chuckled. “I can see that Citan and Fei didn’t tell you very much,” she said. “Yes, in a sense, I went to sleep,” she said. “Four thousand years ago I was deactivated. By Kim. My body was converted into data and saved.”

“And ten years ago?” asked Maria. “Elly woke me up,” Emeralda shrugged. “I was the weapon Dominia mentioned. The thing they found here,” she said. “I met you after we fought in Sargasso. Krelian wanted me to kill Fei, and kidnap Elly.”

“You’re not a thing, Emmy!” said Maria, eyes flashing. “You’re a person, my friend, my best friend,” she said. Emeralda grabbed Maria’s hands, amber eyes lambent. “Thank you,” she said softly, kissing her cheek. “You have no idea what that means to me.”

“I don’t care how you were born, Emmy,” said Maria. “The only thing that matters is who you _are_. And you’ve proved that, so many times. You’re brave, and strong, and kind, and I care about you, very much.”

Emeralda smiled, eyes misty. “It’s people like you who helped me,” she replied. “To Krelian, I was just a thing. A weapon to be used, and discarded when convenient,” she said.

“But you, you _saw me_ , and just wanted to know me. And that made all the difference,” she said. “It made me want to live my life on my own terms, as a real person. Not some thing defined by the past, or how I came into being.”

Maria embraced her tightly. “I’m so glad, so, so glad,” she said. “I’ve always been so proud, so happy to be your friend.” “Friends,” mused Emeralda. “Yes…friends,” she said softly.

“This is the lab where Kim worked, trying to save Zeboim’s people,” Emeralda said. “He thought nanomachines were the answer. To create new life, a new start. A people stronger than radiation and disease. But not everyone wanted that.” “What happened?” asked Maria.

“Elly was Kim’s lab assistant, and his lover,” Emeralda said. “They wanted a child together, but Elly was sterile. So, they created me.” “That’s great,” said Maria. “That proves they wanted you, that they loved you.”

Emeralda nodded. “Yes, but the government started pressing for more,” she said. “Fei had to leave the restraints off my nanites. That’s why I can turn my body into a thing that kills,” she said, grimacing. “Why I’m not normal, like a real human.”

“You are human, Emmy, you are,” breathed Maria. It’s not your body that makes you human. It’s what’s inside, in your heart.” Emeralda smiled, gently touching Maria’s cheek. “You...” she said, eyes soft.

“Elly and Kim were going to run away,” continued Emeralda. “Escape with me, somewhere we couldn’t be found. But they waited too long. Because they were trying to finish something. Elly’s secret,” she said. “She kept telling me I wouldn’t be alone, that I’d have someone by my side, always.”

“Then the attack came,” said Maria. Emeralda nodded. “We were hiding out here, protected by Ravine. An anti-government group. Terrorists, really,” she said.

“What happened?” asked Maria.

“Ravine didn’t last long against the special forces. Elly was killed in the fighting. And I…lost control,” she said.

“All I could feel was hate. And for the first time, I killed. I killed all of them. Their blood was…everywhere. When it was over, I lay there on the floor, my dead mother in my lap, and cried. For my mother. For my father. For an innocence lost forever.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” said Maria, reaching for her. “Wasn’t it?” said Emeralda. “I chose to kill them. I chose to keep killing, even when they tried to run away. What kind of monster does that make me?”

“No worse than me,” said Maria, voice bitter. “I’m no better.” “I killed so many people in the war,” Maria said. “I kept telling myself they deserved it. That they were the enemy. That they would pay for killing my father.”

Maria shook her head. “Killing doesn’t make you a monster, Emmy,” said Maria. “It happens in war, and it’s terrible.” She grabbed Emeralda’s hand. “No, what makes a monster is not caring, not having remorse,” she said. “And that’s not you, it’s never been you.”

Emeralda lay silent, her face pensive. “Thank you, Maria,” she said. Unshed tears glimmering in her eyes.

She looked at Maria, then gestured to the room around them.

“A secret lay here,” said Emeralda. “The secret my parents were protecting. What Elly was waiting for.” She walked past the nanoreactor, to the far wall. Pausing before a section of the wall, she stretched out her right hand. Placing her fingers gently on it. The digits glowed green and flowed into the wall. The barrier rippled, like water disturbed by a stone’s throw, suddenly transparent. Another room lay beyond.

Emeralda entered it. “Here,” she said. “Here is the last legacy of my parents, from all those years ago.” A cool cerulean light washed over the room, illuminating it. “Their gift to me,” she whispered. A tall cylindrical shape dominated the room. Solid, dark. Tiny lights at its base indicating it was powered. Emeralda spoke. “Play archive footage, year 6083, final log.” A holographic display appeared. A young woman with auburn hair displayed. _“_

_Elly. From another time, long ago. Her hair darker. But the same features, the same instantly recognizable form._

The image began to speak. “Despite Ravine’s assurance, I’m worried,” Elly said. “The government will make its move soon. We must finish, if we’re to escape.” Elly breathed heavily. “Kim says we should leave now, take Emeralda and go, but I can’t,” she said. “I won’t leave Safir.” She continued, tense. “I know I’m rushing, but there’s nothing else I can do,” she said.

Elly’s eyes teared. “Emeralda will receive her final upgrade tomorrow. My baby will be all grown up,” she said, voice husky. “But I’m still having problems integrating the personality matrix with Safir’s body. For some reason, it refuses to work. And we’re running out of time.”

Elly frowned. “Maybe it’s my fault. Kim warned me not to stray so far from Emeralda’s template. But I don’t want another child of mine turned into a weapon,” she said, her voice hard. “I won’t allow it.” The image crackled, halting.

Emeralda spoke. “That’s all that remains of the log,” she said. “The next day Elly died,” she said. “This facility was sealed. I slept, and so did she.” Emeralda gestured to the cylinder. She stepped towards the cylinder, touching it gently. “Safir,” she said, whispering.

A pale opalescent light grew inside the cylinder, revealing a young woman. Perhaps Maria’s age. Long waves of indigo hair, framing a heart-shape face. Pale skin, untouched by sunlight. A firm, dancer’s body. Curves covered by a thin sheath of dark blue. “My sister,” said Emeralda, voice low.

“So, she’s the secret we couldn’t find,” said Dominia, stirring. “Yes,” responded Emeralda. “Asleep, for four thousand years.” Dominia frowned. “Can we wake her?” “Perhaps,” said Emeralda. “But I don’t know how. Mother kept her work secret. And none of the terminals here contains a clue.”

“Could it be a code, Emmy, a password?” asked Maria. Emeralda sighed. “Maybe. Kim used one to lock my retrieval sequence,” she said. Emeralda paused, thinking. “Elly recited something when she released me, ten years ago. She said she didn’t use the password at all. Something came over her, and she just…did it.”

“She said it was like…a magic spell, or a prayer. An entreaty for a spirit to bless the soul vessel,” Emeralda blushed. “I know, I know. It sounds crazy. But that’s how Elly described it.” Maria looked at the other women. “Should we ask Elly?” she said. “Could she help us?” Dominia shrugged. “It might be worth a try,” she said.

* * *

  ** _In metempsychotic space –_**

Miang sat, knees drawn up to her chest. The small dark room around her lit by only the images projected on the wall before her, rushing by quickly. Scenes of horror, replayed endlessly. Death, agony, and heartbreak visited upon others. Always upon others. At her hands. She looked at them, curled in her lap, despairing. Expecting to see blood.

She remembered.

 _And that was the problem._ _She remembered all of it. Every crime, every sin. Everything._

And all she wished she could do was forget.

But no, she recalled every detail, each one. Since waking up on that desolate shore, the wreckage of the Eldridge around her. Kadomony calling her forth. A tool. A thing. A weapon. Programmed to do anything, commit any atrocity, to serve Deus’ will.

And she had. Lied, corrupted, and killed, so many times.

She’d stolen the lives of so many women.

_Nine hundred ninety-eight._

Her palingenesis, her endless rebirth, destroying so many futures.

_All for the sake of a weapon’s hubris.The thing that would be god._

_Her mind, her will, even her soul, suborned by Deus._

Miang shook her head.

_Elhaym was wrong._

There was no redemption for her, no forgiveness for millennia of wrongdoing.

No way to cleanse her bloodstained soul.

If it was true that she was doomed to exist as long as Elhaym did, then she’d spend the rest of her time here. In this place. In prison.

She would steal no more lives. She looked up, at the flickering images, disgust rising in her.

_How could I have been so wrong, so stupid. How could I allow myself to be controlled, and worse yet, call it good?”_

_If only I could have been different. Allowed myself to simply live. Just live. Be a part of the world. Have friends, happiness, love…_

 Miang sighed. How she envied Elhaym that.

They’d killed Elhaym, the Antitype, so many times. To stop her rebellion. Yet despite that, she continued to embrace life. Joyfully reuniting with the Contact, her lover, each time she was reborn.

A familiar ache spread through Miang’s heart. 

_And look at me. Look at my life. Empty. Pathetic. Meaningless._

_What kind of life could I have had? If I’d truly chosen? Chosen to live, not simply serve?_

Miang sat, silent, chin resting on her knees. The flickering light of the display before her forgotten.

_If only..._

_Silent tears tracked down her face._

_Please…_

_She begged, softly._ _A prayer, a plea. To something, someone beyond herself. Some heart moved to pity._

A sudden echo threaded its way through her mind, words half obscured, by time and distance. _“Oh, wayfarer soul…”_

A sudden pulling sensation, a familiar warmth. Then Miang fell, into a vortex of light and sound, the darkness of her cell fading away.

* * *

  **In Zeboim -**

The laboratory was quiet. Maria stood near the stasis chamber, restless. Her eyes on the figure reclined before her.

She stepped forward, eyes drawn to the woman. Her hair, her skin, pale coral lips.

 _Like a princess awaiting a fated kiss._ _Needing only that to rise from slumber._

Maria perused her face.

_What color are her eyes? Are they blue, like night sky and deep water… or amber, like Emmy’s?_

Maria circled the cylinder slowly. Unconsciously playing with the pendant around her neck, the metal warm under her fingers.

 _So strange, this feeling._ _Like I know her, for some reason. So familiar…. like a story half-remembered, in my heart._

_A sudden memory transfixed her. A warm smile, and clever fingers playing in her hair. The feel of gentle lips brushing her own, blue eyes flashing with delight._

Maria drew closer to the woman’s resting place. Warmth suffusing her body. The pendant glowing in her hand. A low voice bubbled from her chest, ringing out in the silent chamber:

_“Oh, wayfarer soul, reborn without rest,_

_Reside here now, in flesh not taken,_

_Given freely, of a sister’s toil._

_Awake! To claim redemption’s crown.”_

Maria staggered back, shaken. Breathless, a gale of emotion wheeling through her.

Lights abruptly played across the surface of the machine, rapidly flickering. A loud hiss, and the capsule opened, glass doors sliding apart.

A cold mist wafted from the machine. Maria coughed, yet stepped closer. Eyes anxious, scanning the woman’s face. A soft gasp. The woman’s chest began to rise and fall. Her eyes fluttered, dazed, as she woke.

_Blue eyes._

_A smile lit Maria’s face._

Emeralda stepped forward, at Maria’s shoulder. “What did you do?” she asked. “I don’t know,” replied Maria. “It just happened.” Dominia circled to the woman’s flank, eyes cautious. Her hand on the hilt of her sword. “Safir,” said Emeralda. “Is it you?”

The woman sat, silent. She shook her head. “I don’t know that name,” she said. Maria smiled softly at her. “Well, can you tell us your name? That would be a good start.”

The woman paused, a strange fire kindling in her eyes, as she looked at Maria. “My name, it’s…you can call me Myah.” “Myah,” echoed Maria, her voice gentle. “Good, that’s good…you can remember some things.” Emeralda spoke. “Myah, can you tell us anything about before you woke up?”

A pained look crossed the woman’s face. “I remember dreaming. I was floating in a cold, dark place. A tiny room, without light or warmth,” she started. “Images and memories playing in my mind, like pictures on a screen,” said Myah. “Most were…not nice. I…I had an overwhelming sense of sadness, of guilt.” “Go on,” urged Maria, voice gentle.

Myah shook her head. “I felt so empty, like I wished everything would end.,” she said. “I just wanted it all to stop.”

Myah paused. “There was only one good memory. Just one,” she said, blushing. “A girl, with the most beautiful green eyes. And I wanted to tell her something, something so important.” “Then I felt myself being pulled, from somewhere far away” she said. “And I heard a voice…your voice,” she said, turning to Maria, a soft look in her eyes.

Maria smiled. “First, we need to get you warm, and safe,” she said. “After that we’ll have to talk to some friends. See if they can help with your memory.” She took her hand. “I don’t know why you woke here, or why you’re not Safir,” said Maria. “But I promise I’ll help you, anyway I can.”

Myah looked at Maria, eyes misting. “Thank you,” she said. Maria looked at Emeralda. “Right,” she said. “I know of only one place we can go now.” Emeralda nodded. “Home,” she said. “To Nisan. To mom and dad.” “Good,” agreed Dominia. “Fei and Elly are the only ones who might know how to help.” She said. “I’ll head back to Kahr and tell him about this. I’ll see if Citan can join you there.”

“We’ll take my transport,” said Emeralda. “It’s larger, so we can fit everyone, and we won’t set off an airspace alarm,” she smirked. “Shevat’s planes aren’t recognized by our identification systems.” “Yes, getting shot down would be bad,” agreed Maria.

Dominia stripped off her uniform coat, handing it to Myah. “Here,” she said kindly. “You’ll need to keep warm.” The woman turned, and walked off, towards the exit. “Well, we better get going, too,” said Maria, helping Myah up.” 

Myah blinked, eyes dazzled by the sudden glare of sunlight as she exited the dig site. The ocean breeze tousled her long hair, an indigo banner whipped behind her. She burrowed into her coat, a chill running through her. She turned up the collar, shoulders hunching. 

Myah turned to Maria, gazing at the slender officer. Silver hair falling in messy ringlets about her face, eyes a light verdigris in the sunlight.

_Beautiful._

_Her eyes lingered on Maria’s face._

_I wonder if she still remembers me? What would she say if she knew?_

Maria glanced at Myah, eyes questioning. “Are you alright?” Myah nodded, lips curving in a grateful smile. “Yes, thank you,” she said. “I’m fine. Where are we going now?” “Nisan,” replied Maria. “To see Emmy’s parents. Her mother is the leader there. I think she might be able to help you.” 

“How can she help?” asked Myah. “That’s the hard part to explain,” started Maria. “Elly, well…she has a very long memory. She knows a lot about lots of things.” “Okay,” replied Myah, voice thoughtful. “If you say so.” 

* * *

 The group mounted a small rise to the north and looked down. A large aircraft waited, by the beach. Wings rotated upwards, turboprops pointed at the sky. “It’s not too fast, but it can carry a lot,” said Emeralda. “It’s got room for you two, and the things I found in the ruins.” “That’s fine,” said Maria. “We don’t have to hurry.” “You and Myah can rest in the cabin. The seats recline, so you can lay down,” Emeralda answered. “I’ll fly us out. It’ll take us about six hours to get there.” Myah and Maria followed her to the airplane. 

The plane shuddered as it lifted off. Four powerful turboprop engines lifting the heavy vehicle in the air, hovering. A heavy jolt as the wings rotated forward, and the craft settled into flight. Maria turned to Myah. “Here,” she said, tossing her a thick blanket. “Might as well get comfortable.” 

Myah dozed fitfully as the aircraft droned northeast. The blue ocean sparkling beneath, whitecaps cresting and receding on its surface. “We’ll be reaching the coast of Ignas soon,” said Emeralda. “A few more hours and we’ll be there.” Maria joined Myah at her window, looking out, cheeks brushing. Myah blushed. “I think I can see it,” Maria said. “Over there.” A hazy grey shape appeared on the horizon, long and low. “The coastline?” asked Myah. “Yes, we’re about where Solaris used to be,” said Maria. “Etrenank, the capitol, was located in a huge tower nearby.”

 _The fallen city._ _Destroyed by the demon of Elru, Id._

_The very same day I met Maria._

Myah looked at Maria. “Is there nothing left of it?” Maria shook her head. “It was attacked by a monstrous gear. The tower was shattered, and the city fell to earth. The impact destroyed everything for hundreds of miles.” Myah grasped Maria’s shoulder. “Were there no survivors?” she asked. Maria shrugged. “A few, from the city’s naval base,” Maria said. “They were already near ships or gears. But most of the citizens, the civilians, were killed.” Myah bowed her head. “That’s horrible,” she said. “So, none of the children...” She grimaced. “Not many,” Maria said. “Queen Zephyr took in hundreds of survivors, but it was a fraction of the city’s population.”

Emeralda’s voice crackled over the intercom. “I need you two to come up here, now,” she said. “We have a problem.” Maria and Myha opened the nearby door to the cockpit. “Strap in,” said Emeralda. “We have incoming. Missile launch from a small island to the southeast.” They slipped into the seats behind Emeralda, attaching their safety harnesses. “Who is it?” asked Maria. “Don’t know,” replied Emeralda. “Could be pirates, could be Aveh military. One of the missiles is locked on. I’m dropping chaff and flares, but it’s not stopping.”

Emeralda threw the airplane into a steep dive, to gain speed. “If the missile hits directly, we don’t have much of a chance,” she said. “If it has a proximity warhead, we’ll take damage, but might survive. This is going to be rough.” Emeralda threw the plane into evasive maneuvers, desperately trying to shake the missile.

The plane dove towards the surface of the water, the missile streaking closer. Emeralda pulled up hard on the controls. The missile could not change direction and exploded beneath the plane. The airplane shuddered heavily, damaged by shrapnel. “I was right,” said Emeralda. “The missile had a proximity warhead. It just needed to get close to damage us.” The plane’s engines began to whine, oily smoke pouring out of the port-side engines.

“We’re not going to make it,” said Emeralda. “We’re going to have to make an emergency landing. We’re five minutes out from the Aveh coast.” The stricken aircraft vibrated as it headed towards the shoreline ahead. “I’m going to put us down on the beach,” said Emeralda. “There aren’t any airfields nearby. The closest is Bledavik, and we’ll never make it that far.

“If the Aveh military shot us down, what will they do with us?” asked Myah. “Don’t know,” replied Emeralda. “But we’ll have to survive the landing to find out.” Emeralda banked the airplane, flying northwards over the beach below. “Port-side landing gear is out,” said Emeralda. “We’re going to have to belly land.” Emeralda pulled back on the throttle, slowing the machine, her hands dancing over the controls as she lowered the stick, descending. The rear of the plane grazed the sand, jolting forward. The plane bounced, hitting the surface of the beach hard. It skidded off into the dunes, tearing off a wing as it spun to a stop.

Maria struggled to consciousness. Something warm lay beneath her. A delicate scent of flowers surrounding her. Her eyes fluttered open. Worried blue eyes confronted her. Myah’s. Her hands gently combing through Maria’s silver hair. The woman sat on the sand, Maria’s head in her lap. “Don’t move,” said Myah. “You must rest. You hit your head pretty hard.”

Maria raised her head. A stabbing pain shot through her. “Where’s Emmy?” asked Maria. “Is she okay?” Myah nodded. “Yes. She’s salvaging supplies from the plane. We need to save as much water as we can.” Maria nodded. “Are you okay? Maria asked. Myah smiled. “Yes, but I’m more worried about you. You were unconscious for quite a while.” “Sorry,” said Maria. “I’m just glad you’re okay,” replied Myah, taking her hand. Myah gently rubbed her thumb along Maria’s hand. Maria dropped her eyes, flushing. “Just relax,” soothed Myah. “You need to get your strength back.” Maria closed her eyes, turning her head towards Myah. Her last sensation before sleep was the feel of Myah’s fingers playing in her hair.

When Maria woke, the moon was high above the beach, silver light rippling out over the water. A fire crackled nearby. She felt warm. A blanket lay loosely over her and... Myah?

The other woman lay at her back, one arm thrown across Maria’s waist, pulling her close. Pressing their bodies together. Her face burrowed into Maria’s neck. It felt...nice. Comforting.

Maria leaned closer to Myah’s warmth.

_Why do I feel I know this girl?_

She gave out a silent sob.

_Why does this feel so good, so right? Like I’ve been waiting forever for it?_

A quiet voice nearby. Emeralda. “Don’t wake her yet. She’s been taking care of you all day.” “What happened, Emmy?” Maria asked. “When we crashed, you were injured,” said Emeralda. “We’ve been waiting for you to wake.” “What do we do now?” asked Maria. “The area around here is the Aveh desert, so we’ll have to find a settlement soon.” “So, where are we?” asked Maria. “About a hundred miles southeast of Bart’s old hideout, on the west coast of Aveh. If we’re lucky, we can make it to that base.”

Myah stirred behind Maria. “Is it time to go?” she said. “Almost,” replied Emeralda. “We’ll have a bite to eat, then get going.” Emeralda walked to the campfire. Myah turned to Maria. “Are you feeling better?” she said. “Yes, thanks to you,” Maria answered. “You’re welcome,” said Myah, grasping Maria’s hand. “C’mon, you must be hungry.” Myah helped Maria up, walking her to the campfire, lacing their fingers together. Emeralda handed each an energy bar and a cup of water. “Not the best, but we’ll have to make it last,” said Emeralda. “We’ve got a lot of walking to do.”

After eating, Emeralda snuffed the campfire with sand, and brought gave a bag to Maria and Myah. “I packed extra clothes, rations and water from the wreck,” Emeralda said. “You’ve got your weapons, Maria, but for Myah I found these. Take your pick.” Emeralda brought over a small case. Inside were a black semiautomatic pistol, and an officer’s saber. “I’ll take the blade,” said Myah. She buckled it to her side. “Alright,” said Emeralda. “We’ll break camp and get going.”

* * *

 The sun rose slowly, the eastern sky alight with rosy fire. The three survivors trudged north, feeling fatigued after several hours’ walking. “When the sun comes up, we’ll have to set up a tent, and make the best of the heat,” said Maria. Emeralda laughed. “What, strip down and try not to get sunburn?” “Very funny,” said Maria. “We’re going to have to find civilization soon if we’re going to make it. We won’t last more than two or three days.”

The sun was high in the sky. Waves of heat shimmered off the sand. Maria checked her canteen, shaking it. A few ounces of water left. Since leaving the crash site two days ago, they’d gone through most of their water. Sweating out precious moisture in the oppressive heat. Emeralda paused by her. “You low as well?” she said. “Yep,” replied Maria. “Down to the last few swallows. If we don’t find more soon...” Maria left the rest unsaid. Myah stood a short distance away, scanning the horizon. “There’s something up ahead,” she said. “Looks like a rock formation. We might find shade there.” Maria glanced at Emeralda. “Works for me,” she said. “Anything to get out of this heat.” They trekked forward, northeast, to the outcropping. A ridge of shale piercing the blanket of sand.

As they approached the rocks, the ground beneath their feet changed. Small stones mixed with the sand. A flash of green ahead. Tough grasses sprang up beneath their feet, stubbornly clinging to life in the desert. Yellow and purple flowers hid amidst the rocks around the ridge of stone. The top of the formation leaned to one side, a small fissure barely visible at its base. “There must be water here,” said Myah. “Look, plants and flowers!” She smiled at Maria. “It’s beautiful.”

Emeralda explored the fissure, shining a hand torch down into it. “I can hear water,” she said. “Looks like it’s about eight sharls down. We can get down with a rope.” Emeralda pulled a large coil of rope from her haversack. “One of us will have to go down, while the other two belay,” she said, running one end of the rope around a sturdy rock. “I’ll do it,” said Maria. “I’m the smallest here.” She gathered canteens from the other women, stuffing them into her bag. Myah frowned in disapproval. Maria tossed the far end of the rope into the crevice. Myah and Emeralda held their end tightly around the anchor point. Grabbing the rope in her hands, Maria dropped into the opening, wrapping her feet around the rope, to slow her descent.

The fissure opened up into a small cave. Maria swayed slowly above the cave’s bottom, slowly working her way down. She could hear the sound of water dripping below.

 _About four sharls to the bottom_.

Maria continued, palms sweaty, anxious to reach the bottom. The rope continued to sway as she moved. A cracking sound, above her. The rope parted, sheared on sharp rock. Maria fell, tumbling to the ground, a sharp pain shooting up her right leg. “Maria!” Myha shouted, frightened. “I’m all right,” she called up. “But I think I did something to my leg.” “I’m coming,” Myah replied. “Don’t worry.”

Emeralda stood at the top of the fissure. She pulled the rope up. The last four sharls of rope were gone. “I’m going after her,” said Myah. “I’ll go down on the rope and look for handholds for the last part of the climb.” “You’re going to free climb down?” asked Emeralda, expression dubious. “I have to, Maria’s hurt,” said Myah. “What if you get hurt too?” replied Emeralda. “We’re wasting time,” Myah said. “You ground the rope and belay me. You’re the strongest of us.” Emeralda readied the rope.

Myah swung into the fissure, climbing down. She scanned as she descended. _“There,” she thought._ A large diagonal crack led to the bottom of the cave. Enough for a handhold. Myah swung over to it, jamming her right fist inside. She grasped the crack with her other hand. Myah slowly released the rope between her feet. Searching for footholds beneath her. Slowly, arduously, she made her way down. Arms and shoulders burning as she climbed. Hoping that her sweaty hands would not slip. They did. Myah tumbled down, two sharls from the bottom, splashing into the muddy water below.

Myah flicked on her hand torch, sweeping it across the small cave. She spied Maria, leaning against a rock, a grimace of pain on her face. “Maria!” Myah said. “Are you alright?” “How did you get here?” Maria asked, eyes wide. “I climbed down the rock face,” replied Myah. “That’s crazy!” said Maria. “You shouldn’t do something so dangerous!”

“I had to come,” said Myah, voice soft.

_I’ll always come for you._

“I think I sprained my ankle,” hissed Maria, probing her leg. “Nothing seems broken, though.” “What can I do?” asked Myah. “We have to find a way out of here,” said Maria.

Myah played her torch over the sides of the cave. “There’s a passage over there,” she said, pointing to their right. Myah moved closer to it. “I think I feel air flowing through it.” “It’s worth a try,” said Maria. “Help me up, please,” she said. Myah pulled her to her feet.

Maria lurched, falling against Myah. Myah held her steady, arms wrapped around Maria’s waist. “I was so afraid for you,” Myah said. “I don’t know what I’d do if you’d been...” Tears glimmered in Myah’s eyes. Maria’s hands traveled up, twining around Myah’s neck. She stared into Myah’s eyes, kissing her gently on the cheek. “It’s okay,” said Maria. “I’m fine. We’ll get out of this.” Myah nodded, hugging Maria close. “Let’s go,” she said, pulling away. “Let’s not forget this,” smirked Maria, holding up the canteens. Smiling, Myah ruffled Maria’s hair, then filled the bottles.

Myah held Maria around the waist, helping her walk, as they heading into the passageway. The path sloped gently up, a dim light visible in the distance. Maria moved slowly, each step bringing a hiss of pain to her lips. “This won’t work,” said Myah. She crouched in front of Maria. “Come on,” she said. “Get on my back. I’ll carry you.” Maria blushed. “I can’t do that,” she said. “You can’t carry me and everything else.” “I’m stronger than I look,” grinned Myah. “Remember, born in a nanoreactor?” “Okay,” said Maria, hesitant.

Maria slid onto Myah’s back, wrapping her legs around the other woman’s hips, her arms around Myah’s middle. Leaning against her. Myah rose smoothly. “See, nothing to it,” Myah said. She strode forward, towards the cave’s exit, the light growing brighter as she advanced. A flush spreading though her body, from Maria’s touch.

Myah broke out into the sunlight, as she left the cave. Turning west, she spotted the oasis, a short distance away. She walked towards it, as Emeralda appeared, shouting out to them, a relieved smile on her face.

Wood crackled orange on the campfire. Myah stretched, her muscles weary. Emeralda grinned at her. “You better get some rest, it’s been a long day,” she said. “We have an early start in the morning.” “You’re right,” said Myah. She headed for her bedroll, laying down. A chill in the starry desert night.

An arm slid around her waist. A familiar scent close.

_Maria._

“Let me stay, please,” she whispered. “It makes me feel better, safe, having you near.”

Myah nodded silently. “Thank you,” said Maria. Her lips curved against Myah’s cheek as they lay together, under the diamond scattered sky.

* * *

 The sun hammered down on the trio as they crossed the dunes, ever northward. Their tired legs straining as they struggled over each rise. “How long until we reach Bart’s base?” asked Maria. “We might be able to reach it by tomorrow,” answered Emeralda. “The first thing I’m doing when we get there is take a shower, even if they take us prisoner,” quipped Myah.

The sound of a truck engine growled ahead. “Could that be help?” asked Myah. “Around here, probably no,” replied Maria. The truck crested a nearby dune. Four occupants inside. “Sand men,” said Emeralda. “Not the friendly type.” The scavengers stopped their truck and spread out. Opening fire on the trio below. Another truck appeared to the west. A light machine gun mounted on it. The gun opened up, targeting Maria. Myah pulled her down, gasping loudly as she fell. Emeralda charged the vehicle. Hands phasing into blades, she destroyed the gun, then dispatched the crew.

Maria raised her revolver, firing twice. One enemy fell to the sand. The scavengers fanned out, charging Maria, pistols and rifles spitting fire. Maria fired, dropping one. A sand man rose behind her, knife poised to stab. A blade flashed, and he fell to the ground. Myah beside Maria, bloody sword in hand. Emeralda caught the last attacker. Spinning, with hands and feet like knives, she silenced him.

Myah staggered, falling against Maria. She coughed heavily, blood on her lips. “You’re hurt,” Maria gasped. Her eyes widened. “When you pulled me down, the machinegun hit you!” “Fair trade,” Myah smiled, voice weak. “You’re okay.” “She’s hit bad,” said Emeralda, checking her wounds. “She needs a doctor.”

Maria looked at Emeralda. “The trucks!” she said. “We need to go!” She picked Myah up, sprinting towards the nearest vehicle. Emeralda followed her. “Even with the truck, we won’t reach help in time,” Emeralda said. “I’m sorry, Maria.” “No! I won’t let her go!” cried Maria. “There must be something, something we can do!” Myah turned to Maria, her eyes soft. “It’s okay, at least I got to see you...” Her head rolled back, as she fell unconscious. Maria looked at Myah, eyes frantic. “No, not like this. No!” she cried, tears falling. Cradling Myah in her arms.

The earth began to shake as something emerged from the sand. A large gray shape. Like a huge shark, risen to the surface. A vehicle, emblazoned with the crest of Aveh. A sandcruiser. A figure appeared on the deck of the ship. A man with silver hair and a patch over one eye. Emeralda smiled, hope rising in her heart.

_Sigurd Harcourt._

Myah awoke, to the sound of a heart monitor. She blinked her eyes, bringing them into focus. Pressure on her stomach, and her hand. She looked down. Maria sat beside her bed, leaning against her, drowsing. Holding her hand tightly. Myah sat up, reaching out to stroke the younger woman’s hair. Her shoulders began to shake, suddenly weeping. Green eyes flickered open, Maria rose, folding the other woman into her arms. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” she cooed. “You’re alright now.” She rocked Myah against her, brushing her lips against her hair. “I’m just so glad you’re better, so glad,” she said. “Why?” Myah answered. “I thought I... we lost you,” whispered Maria.

A man with silver hair entered the clinic, a black patch over one eye. Emeralda behind him. Maria smiled “Sigurd! You saved her! She’s all right!” The man smiled. “The credit goes to my surgeon, but you’re welcome,” he said. “So, the young lady is feeling better, I hope?” “Yes, thank you,” said Myah. “It’s a good thing we were in the area, and heard the battle,” Sigurd said. “I’m glad we were able to help when we did.”

“Sigurd, this is Myah,” began Maria. “Myah, this is my friend Sigurd Harcourt.” Sigurd took Myah’s hand, lost in thought for a moment. “Is something wrong?” asked Myah. “No,” Sigurd answered. “Just for a moment, you reminded me of someone. A friend I knew long ago, in Solaris.” “Trying to charm your young guest, Siggy?” smirked Emeralda. Sigurd chuckled. “Welcome to the sandcruiser _Gungnir._ One of our Yggdrasil class of warships.” “I understand you are in need of a ride home?” Myah’s eyes widened. “You can help us?” she queried. “Of course,” Sigurd smiled. “We’ll set course for Nisan and be there by morning.”

The clinic was dark. Maria had insisted she sleep in one of the beds nearby. Miang sat, watching over the younger woman, as she lay asleep, her silver hair spread about her pillow.

_What would she say? Would she believe me, if I told her? Told her who I really am?_

_Or would it be better to stay this way, as simply Myah, her friend?_

_And what of these feelings, inside my heart? The feelings that have only grown since meeting her again?_

_For this beautiful woman. So brave, so kind. Like and yet unlike the girl I met so many years before._

* * *

 The _Gungnir_ docked at the secret harbor in Nisan. Emeralda led Marian and Myah off the bridge of the ship and upstairs towards the town. Sigurd waved farewell from the cruiser, preparing to return to Bledavik. “Come on,” said Emeralda, “Let’s head for the Cathedral. I’m sure we’re see Elly and Margie there.” 

Leaving the harbor, Emeralda led Maria and Myah through the town, and down the winding path towards the Nisan cathedral. The blue waters of the lake shimmering beside them. They arrived at the entrance. Two guards beside the gate, sisters of the order. Armor bearing the cross of Nisan. Each woman bearing a sword and pistol at their side. 

One recognized Emeralda. “Sister Emmy,” she said. “You’re back! The Great Mother and Mother Sophia are waiting for you!” Emeralda smiled, giving the woman a quick hug. “Lia! Glad to be back,” she said. “Let’s meet later at the officer’s club, and have a drink, eh?” “The woman blushed. “Yeah, that’ll be great,” she said.”

“Heartbreaker,” teased Maria. “Oh, shut up!” Emeralda replied. “Some of us have friends, you know.” “Yeah, my friends blush like that all the time,” Maria snickered. They passed through the door to the cathedral. Their eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness. The sound of hymns echoed through the vestibule, as a choir practiced. Emeralda led them east, towards a staircase. “This way,” she said. It’s up a couple of flights.” 

Myah paused on the balcony, overlooking the ground floor. Two large statues rose by the altar. A pair of one-winged angels. Male and female. Light from stained-glass windows backlit the statues, like a path leading into infinity. “Beautiful,” Myah said. “This is something from Nisan scripture, right?” Maria nodded. “Yes,” she said. “It’s supposed to show how we can’t rely on just ourselves. That we need the help of others, of the ones we love, to find God’s grace.” 

Emeralda led them up a short flight of stairs. A door lay at the top. She knocked. A voice replied. “Come in.” A female, her tone light, warm. 

Maria walked into a small sitting room. Two women waited, on a small couch. Emeralda rushed toward one. “Mom!” she cried embracing her. A slender woman with long red hair, clad in a simple white frock. Her violet eyes soft and welcoming. The other woman smiled, sharing a look with her companion. Short brown hair and sparkling blue eyes. A red greatcoat shrugged over her shoulders. 

Maria chuckled. “Hi Elly, Margie,” she said. “It’s been awhile.” “Too long,” said the brunette, with mock severity. “Oh, c’mon Margie,” Maria replied. “Like you’re one to talk, splitting yourself between here and Aveh. I bet your _husband_ doesn’t like that so much, _Oh Great Mother of Nisan_ ,” she teased. 

“Bart knows what my responsibilities are,” Marguerite Fatima said. “And he knows not to intrude,” she said. “Ha,” laughed Maria. “Look at the grouchy old married lady,” she teased. “It used to be _“Oh, Bart, you’re so brave, Oh, Bart, you’re so strong,”_ Maria said, fluttering her eyelashes. Margie flushed red. “You just stop that now, Maria Balthasar! You just wait until you have someone,” she said. 

The red-head laughed, her arm draped loosely around Emeralda’s waist. “Will you two stop,” she said. “It’s been a year, and you’re already teasing each other.” “Fine, Elly,” said Maria. 

Elhaym van Houten looked her guests, her eyes coming to rest on Myah. “Perhaps you should introduce me to your new friend,” Elly said, smiling. “This is Myah. She helped us get home after our plane was shot down, and helped me when I was injured,” said Maria. Emeralda nodded. “More than that, she saved Maria’s life in the Aveh desert. She almost died protecting her!” “Luckily Sigurd was nearby and helped us save Myah,” said Maria.

Elly smiled at Myah. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said. “Thank you for helping my daughter and Maria.” “You’re welcome,” replied Myah. “But it’s no burden to help your friends.” “True,” replied Elly. She paused, peering at Myah.

“You seem, familiar to me, somehow,” said Elly. “Like I’ve met you somewhere before. Like I should know you.”

_Miang froze._

_Does she know, can she guess?_

“Oh, really?” Myah said, voice weak. “Would you mind giving us a few minutes while I get the mission report?” said Elly. “Oh...of course,” said Myah.

“Where did you meet Myah?” asked Elly. “We found her in Zeboim. In the ruins,” Maria said. “In the ruins?” asked Elly. “What was she doing there all alone? It’s hardly safe.” “Well, she was safe,” said Emeralda. “Or kept safe, I guess you’d say.” “How is that?” replied Elly, puzzled. “She was there in the ruins, because she’d been there all along,” said Maria. “In Safir’s containment vessel.” 

Elly’s smile vanished. “Safir,” she said. “I thought that place was destroyed ten years ago, when Fe…when Id attacked us.” “No mother,” said Emeralda. “It was still intact. We couldn’t wake her, though. Until Maria said something. Just like you did with me.” 

Elly stared at Maria. “Maria,” she said. “This is very important. What was going through your mind there? What were you thinking about before she woke?” Maria paused. “I…I was thinking of someone I used to know,” Maria began. “Someone I…cared about. But, but she died in the war,” she said. 

“Who?” said Elly. “I…I…what does it matter, Elly? She’s gone,” said Maria. “It matters,” Elly answered. “Were they on our side, or theirs?” Maria turned away. “Elly,” she said. “I don’t want to answer that. It’s all in the past now.” 

Elly sighed. “The past doesn’t seem to let us alone, Maria,” she said. “Who were you thinking of? Where did you meet?” “Please, don’t make me say it,” Maria said, voice cracking. “Please.” 

“Why?” asked Elly. “Do you think I’ll judge you?” said Elly. “Do you think me that heartless?” she said. “You won’t understand, Elly,” whispered Maria. “You’ll hate me. All of you will.” 

“We won’t hate you, Maria,” Emeralda said. “You’re our friend. We love you.” Elly smiled. “Trust us, Maria,” she said. “It’s all right.” 

“It was when we were at Solaris,” Maria said. “I met her in Solaris, okay?” “What, you’re afraid we’ll be mad you fell for a Solarian girl?” giggled Emeralda. “It’s not just that,” sighed Maria. “You couldn’t understand,” she said. “How we met…how she made me feel. How I _still_ feel, after all this time. Like I’d known her forever.” “Why would we blame you for your feelings?” asked Elly. 

“Because of who she was…. the things that she did,” said Maria. “What are you saying?” asked Elly. “Because she was the enemy! The enemy of everything we fought for,” Maria said. “She was our enemy, yet I still can’t get her out of my mind, or my heart.” 

“Who, then?” asked Emeralda. “You obviously cared about her very much.”

“That’s the problem,” Maria said. “Because she hurt all of us, badly. But especially Fei, and you Elly.” 

“What do you mean?” asked Elly. 

“She hurt Fei, so many times. As a child, and later too,” said Maria. “And you, Elly. Please don’t make me say it, I can’t.” 

“Tell me,” said Elly, voice hard. 

The words rushed out. “She killed your father, when you fought in Etrenank,” Maria confessed. “She took over your body and made you shoot Fei!” Maria raised her eyes to meet Elly’s.

“It’s Miang,” she whispered. “I fell in love with Miang.”

Myah stared at Maria, breathless.

 _She loves me._ _Me._

A deadly silence fell over the room. A storm gathered on Elly’s face. Margie’s eyes hardened. Emeralda moved quickly, placing herself between Maria and the other women. “Whoa now, hold on for a minute,” she said, her arms up. “I thought you weren’t going to judge.” 

Elly glared at her daughter. “This isn’t some nameless soldier. Did you hear what she said? 

“Mother, I thought you forgave Miang?” said Emeralda. 

Elly stared at Maria. “How many times did you hold back? she said, “How many times did Seibzhen not shoot because you loved her!” 

“No!” said Maria. “You’re wrong,” she said. 

“When we fought Opiomorph, I knew it was her. I knew I had to fight her. To…to kill her,” she said, voice weak. “And every time I time I struck, every time I fired, part of me broke a little more,” she said, voice ashen. “Can you understand that? Loving someone and knowing that you have to destroy them? Knowing you’re the next to fall because you can’t go on without them?” 

“I wish you could understand,” Maria continued. “How it was like when we met. I was so damaged,” she said. “All I wanted to do was kill and die. For my father, for my mother, for myself,” she said. “And all she wanted was to have something that didn’t belong to Deus.” Maria smiled sadly. “It was like the pieces of her broken heart fit my own,” she whispered. “Like she was the other half of my soul. As though someone I’d been waiting for my whole life was suddenly there.” Maria slumped to the ground. 

Myah rushed to Maria’s side.

_This isn’t right, it isn’t right, don’t hurt her like this!_

“No!” she said aloud. “Don’t do this to her!”

Emeralda snapped. “Mother, please, stop this! It’s wrong,” she said. “It’s not fair to judge her feelings!” 

“If we’re speaking of judgement, then where’s mine?” a voice said. The women turned towards the door. Fei Fong Wong leaned against the door frame, eyes downcast. Long hair loose around his face. “How many people did I kill?” he asked. 

“Id…no, **_I_** destroyed Elru, and Solaris too,” he said, voice soft. “And let’s not forget Lahan, where I killed my friends. The people who took me in when I had nothing. Timothy and Alice believed in me, thought I would save them. And I killed them…I killed them all.” 

He paused, looking down at Maria. “Elly, is it right to blame her? Blame her for things she had no control over? For just being in love?” 

Myah knelt next to Maria. Wrapping her arms around the younger girls shaking form. 

“Please…please don’t blame her. Don’t hate her,” she said. “Not for things she hasn’t done.” Myah looked up, staring Elly in the eye. “Blame me,” she whispered. “Punish me,” she said. “As Urobolus fell, didn’t you say I could make amends?” 

A flare of recognition overcame Elly. Blood rushing from her face. “You,” she said, voice hushed. “You, inside Safir?” Myah nodded. “Me,” she said. 

* * *

  ** _10 years ago, within Deus_**

Urobolus shook heavily. The construct shuddering under Xenogear’s blows. Miang watched another attack coming, smiling grimly. Knowing she could not prevail.

 _What’s the point anyway?_ _This whole battle is just more of Krelian’s melodrama. I’ll just be glad to rest, to be finished, after this._

Miang released Elhaym, her mind separating from the girl’s. It didn’t matter. For now, Urobolus was all the body she needed. The redhead appeared before her. “You let me go,” Elly said. “Why can I see you now?” Miang chuckled. “This is imaginary space. The things you see aren’t real. Our bodies, all of it,” Miang said. “They’re just illusions that help us make sense of this place.” 

“So, none of it is real?” asked Elly. “The gears, the fighting?” “Oh, the fighting’s real enough, and so is death. Like dreaming of falling off a cliff,” Miang said. “Will the impact kill you, or the heart attack you have in bed?”

“What are you going to do now?” Elly asked. “It’s time for you to go,” said Miang. “You don’t belong here.” Elly approached her, eyes questioning. “You’re letting me go? Why?” asked Elly. “Because there’s no point to this. In prolonging it,” said Miang. “No point in you getting hurt.” 

Elly shook her head. “Why would you care about that?” Miang glared. “I just do, alright? We’re two halves of the same thing,” she said. “We might’ve been sisters, in another life.” 

“What about you?” Elly asked. “Does it matter?” scoffed Miang. “I’m just a part of a broken machine. The world’s better off if I end here.” “Don’t say that,” said Elly. “You can make amends, you can be better!” 

Miang sadly smiled. “I did Deus’ bidding for ten thousand years. Krelian for five hundred. I did so many things…horrible things. Do you really think **_I’ll_** ever be clean?” she said. “Go now, Krelian will set you free.” 

“Redemption is possible. Forgiveness is possible, no matter what you’ve done,” Elly urged. 

Miang looked at Elly, eyes hollow. “Who could possibly forgive me, if I can’t even forgive myself?” she whispered. 

Elly stared. “Why are you doing this?” she said, voice trembling. “Why are you helping me?” “Because he’s out there,” Miang said. “Because he loves you, and you love him,” she sighed. “Because I wish I knew what that felt like.”

* * *

  ** _Present day –_**

Miang sighed. “When Urobolus fell, I didn’t know where to go. Our connection still held. You were alive. And somehow, I was waiting to be reborn,” she said. 

“But I was tired, so tired of the past,” Miang said. “And I didn’t want to steal any more lives.” Miang knelt on the floor, where Maria lay, a tender expression on her face. 

“I didn’t believe what you said. I never thought I could find redemption. I never thought I’d be given another chance,” she said. “I never thought this would happen. But, if you need someone to punish, take me. Don’t hurt her.” 

Miang moved closer to Maria. Sitting beside her. Pulling her close. Hands gently combing through silver hair. Blue eyes locking with emerald. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” she said, kissing Maria. Softly, chastely. Breathing in the scent of her skin.

Maria gasped at the contact. A sudden recognition, a fierce joy surging through her. Dreams and memories thronging her mind. Endless pictures of a beloved face.

_Pictures swirling, leaves in memory’s fire. Pictures, glowing, lined with regret. Pictures of love, of lives gone before. One woman, one face, within her secret heart. Amethyst hair and cobalt eyes._

_Miang..._

Maria’s arms wrapped around the older woman. Hands curling in her hair. Lips questing, claiming Myah’s lips.

_Miang’s lips._

Eyes closed. Lost in sensation. Fervently deepening the kiss. 

Miang leaned into the kiss, then stiffened, overcome.

Memories, rushing by. Of lives, so many lives before.

Of silver hair and emerald eyes.

_Maria._

Her face, her smile, her gentle touch, such unaccustomed joy. Miang’s heart stuttering and stumbling beside her.

_Only a friend, only a friend. But what if there could’ve been more?_

Each chance, each opportunity lost. Crushed by Deus.

Miang opened her eyes, her face an eternity of grief.

_She was there. She had always been there. Down each year, across each life. Only her name changed. Maria..._

A sudden shaking. Maria opened her eyes. Miang’s face before her, awash with tears. Quivering as she sobbed. “I thought…I thought I’d never…It’s you, and it’s real,” she whispered, crashing her lips into Maria’s. They embraced, arms tight. Clinging to each other, afraid to let go, afraid to break the spell binding them. 

A sudden cough. Fei stood nearby, a soft expression on his face. “I think we all need a little time,” he said. “Time to think.” 

He turned to his wife. “There’s not a person in this world who doesn’t need somebody, Elly. Not one.” Fei said. “Who are we to say what Miang needs, or Maria? Love isn’t a right, or a reward,” he murmured. “It doesn’t care about our sins. It just is. Otherwise, I’d be the last person blessed by it.” 

Elly hung her head, abashed. She nodded her head. “Emeralda,” she said. “Find them a room, I’m sure they have to…talk.” 

* * *

 The door closed softly behind them, as Emeralda left. A small bedroom. A bookcase and a desk on one side. A large bed in against the back wall. Pillows and a soft red blanket atop it. 

Miang turned, silent. Filling her eyes with Maria. Tears glittering, about to fall. Overcome.

“I wanted to see you again, for so long, since we met,” Miang said. “I didn’t know why then, but now I do.”

“And when I finally saw you again, we were enemies.” She paused. “I felt myself operating the controls of my gear, like I was numb. Like I was outside myself. Beating against a pane of glass, screaming at myself to stop. But I couldn’t.” Miang sobbed. “I prayed you would kill me,” she said. “But Ramsus took care of that.” 

Maria rushed to her. Throwing her arms around the shaking woman. “Miang,” it’s alright, it’s over now,” she said. “We’re here and we’re together, finally. And I won’t let you go.”

“I’ve been waiting for so long. Waiting for someone I couldn’t name. Someone out there, just for me. Special, for my heart alone,” said Maria.

“Something in my soul told me to wait. The memory of someone I’d known, and loved, yet could never reach,” whispered Maria. “It was you. I’ve been waiting for you, Miang,” she said. “And now that you’re here I’ll never leave you.”

“Never?” Miang whispered.

“Never,” Maria said. “No matter what happens, I’m yours.”

“Why?” Miang said. “Why would you do that for me, after all I’ve done?” “Because I love you,” Maria said simply. “I love you.” 

Miang crushed Maria to her. Shuddering, overcome by joy and regret. Amazed by this woman, this treasure in her arms.

_She’s so strong, and I’ve been so weak. I know I don’t deserve this, deserve her. But, thank you, thank you, thank you, whoever gave me this chance._

“I love you, Maria,” said Miang, voice ragged. “I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how much,” she sobbed. “I know I don’t deserve mercy, or happiness, with all the things I’ve done, I know,” Miang said. “But I’m just so grateful, just for this chance, even if it ends tomorrow.” Maria gazed at her, eyes glowing. “No endings,” she said softly. “Forever,” she said, kissing Miang. 

“Come,” said Maria. “It’s time for bed,” she said. A soft blush coloring her cheeks. “Just sleep, for now.” Maria gently unbuttoned Miang’s tunic, slipping it off, discarding it on the floor. Unzipping her own flight suit, letting it pool around her ankles. Stepping free of it.

They stared at one another, transfixed. Undergarments feeling too delicate, too insubstantial. Maria took Miang’s hand, leading her towards the bed, throwing back the blanket. “Rest,” breathed Maria, guiding Miang onto the mattress, curling up beside her. Her arms encircling Miang from behind. “Goodnight, my love,” she said softly, brushing her lips over Miang’s throat. Miang snuggled closer to the younger woman, breathing in the scent of her silver hair, as she fell into a restful sleep. 

A gentle knock at the door. Maria roused herself, untangling from Miang’s sleeping form. She paused, pressing a kiss to her temple, then slipped out of bed. She shrugged on a robe, and padded to the door, opening it.

Emeralda stood before her, a nervous grin on her face. “You guys alright?” she said. “Yes, we’re good,” replied Maria. “That’s good,” Emeralda replied, darting a glance towards the bed. “It’s time for breakfast,” she said. “Elly and Fei are downstairs already. Citan’s with them. They want to talk to you.” “Okay,” replied Maria. “We’ll be down there in a little bit.” 

Maria closed the door, returning to the bed. Miang stirred, blushing as she saw Maria’s face. “Morning,” she mumbled. “Time to get up?” “Yes,” said Maria, smiling. “We’ve got time to take a shower and get dressed.” Miang nodded, “Okay,” she said. “What’ll I wear?” “There’s some things in the closet that should be your size,” Maria replied. She gestured over to the wardrobe. “Now get going,” she teased, winking. “Unless you want to share that shower?” Miang flushed pink. “I’ll…I’ll get going,” she stammered. Maria giggled lightly. 

* * *

 Miang and Maria entered a small refectory. They helped themselves to tea and some toast, spreading fresh strawberry jam over the bread. A light breakfast, to ease their nervous stomachs. 

The door opened. Fei and Elly entered, followed by Margie, Citan, and Emeralda. The doctor adjusted his glasses as he greeted the two women sharing breakfast. He grinned warmly. “Maria, and Miang,” he said. “I trust your evening was restful?” “Yes, thank you Hyuga,” replied Miang. 

He laughed. “It’s Citan Uzuki now,” he said. “Hyuga Ricdeau was an agent of the Emperor. A past I’ve put behind me.” Miang nodded, trying the name on her lips. “Of course, Citan,” she said. “Better!” smiled Citan. “Well, don’t let me keep you, finish your breakfast,” he said. The others sat down and quickly loaded plates with bread and fruit, sipping their tea together. 

After breakfast was cleared away, Elly led the group to a small sitting area. She sat on a small couch, flanked by Fei. Emeralda beside them. Citan and Margie lounged nearby, in a pair of armchairs. Elly gestured Maria and Miang to a small settee. 

“We’ve talked,” said Elly. “And we agree that your feelings for each other seem genuine.” The others nodded. Fei leaned forward. “Everyone deserves a second chance, Miang,” he began. “Look at me. I was Id. An assassin, a killer,” he said. “Yet I found peace, and happiness, thanks to Elly.” He turned, looking at his wife, a gentle smile on his face. 

Citan spoke. “Fei and Elly were bound together, by the red string of fate, through many lives, Miang,” Citan said. “Yet what of you?” 

“I had nothing, I was nothing but Deus’ tool,” answered Miang.

“You’re wrong,” replied Citan, shaking his head. “You’re the same as Elly, in every way. One of the two mothers,” he said.

“Elly had a fated companion in Fei,” he said. “You were also fated to find someone, Miang. Deus just suppressed your ability to find her, until your last incarnation.”

“Maria?” Miang whispered.

“Yes, Maria,” replied Citan. “It was part of Deus’ ability to control you. By separating you from your humanity.”

“After we defeated Deus, the Wave Existence began to phase shift back to its dimension. It would’ve shattered the planet, destroyed all life. _You_ moved Deus away from the planet, _not_ Elly. Because, _you_ were the one in control. Elly was a prisoner, until Krelian let her go. You did it because you’d found Maria and didn’t want her world to be destroyed.” 

“But that doesn’t explain everything,” said Miang, puzzled. “Why am I even still alive? Urobolus was destroyed. I should’ve died with it, despite Elhaym living.”

“I think you lived because you were meant to,” said Citan. “Because your other half, Maria, wanted it so desperately. Because she wanted a life with you.” 

“But I didn’t have anywhere to go,” Miang said. “I wouldn’t steal any more lives, even if I could.”

Citan nodded. “That’s where Safir’s soul vessel comes in,” replied Citan. “I checked the lab, with Kahr and Dominia. Her body survived, all those years, but the personality matrix was gone,” he said. “There was no way Safir could’ve been born. I’m sorry Elly.” Elly bowed her head, as Fei held her close. 

“Then how did I end up here?” asked Miang, voice shaking. Maria beside her, holding her hand. 

“That’s the puzzle,” replied Citan. “We don’t really know much about how soul vessels work. Even Elly and Kim didn’t understand all of it. Perhaps it was destiny,” he shrugged. “Maybe that form was meant for you all along.” 

“Why do soul vessels work? It seems such a mystery,” mused Elly, voice soft. “It’s always been more about faith than science, even for us.” She paused.

“Souls are born into this world through acts of love,” she said, grasping Fei’s hand. “Emmy’s soul the same as any other child’s, despite her body, despite how we conceived it.” She looked at her daughter, eyes warm. 

“Miang’s rebirth is the same, I think. It’s about intention, desire,” Elly said. “It was deep feeling that drew her here. Maria’s passion summoned Miang, and Miang’s love for Maria completed the charm.” “Magic?” smirked Citan. “It’s as good an explanation as any,” replied Elly. 

“It doesn’t matter how it happened, or why it happened. All I know is that I can’t imagine myself without her. She’s all I’ve wanted, all I’ve waited for,” said Maria. Looking at Miang, eyes shining. 

* * *

  ** _Later that evening –_**

Miang Hawwa stood on a bridge overlooking the streets of Nisan. A gnawing sense of worry inside. She bowed her head, thinking of the night before. Of Maria. The feeling of her arms cradling her as they slept. 

_I love her. But am I really doing the right thing? Will her friends truly accept Maria’s choice?”_

Miang doubted they would. Would anyone truly welcome her return?

A light cough behind her. Miang turned. Elhaym stood before her. Wearing a simple dress of blue. The Cross of Nisan around her neck. “You’re brooding,” she said. “Why aren’t you with Maria?” “I want to be,” Miang confessed. “She makes me so happy. Something I never understood before.” Then what’s the problem?” replied Elly. “I’m afraid I’ll hurt her,” Miang said. “Hurt her, just by being me. By turning her friends against her.” 

Elly nodded. “I understand,” she said. “It does you credit that you’re thinking of her, and not yourself.” “I love her,” breathed Miang. “But can she really be happy with someone like me? Someone who’s done so much evil? I... I don’t want to ruin her life,” Miang said, eyes tearing. “Have you considered that you are her life?” asked Elly. “That you’re what makes her life complete?” “So, what do I do?” Miang queried. 

“All you can do is love her,” said Elly. “Just love her. And work each day to be worthy of the love she gives you.” “Will that be enough?” Miang asked. “You can’t erase the past, or the things you’ve done, Miang,” replied Elly. “Show Maria the future you want is worth having.” “How can I do that?” Miang asked. “Maria believes in your love,” said Elly. “Be the woman she believes in.” 

Miang nodded. She gripped the bridge’s railing as she looked out over the city. “Thank you, Elhaym,” she said. “I’m going to try, I’m really going to try. Because for the first time in…forever, I feel like I’m truly alive. And I don’t want to fail her,” she said. “Then don’t,” said Elly, smiling. 

* * *

Miang walked through the city, as dusk fell, and the pale amber of streetlights awoke. Ahead she saw the lights of the cathedral playing across the surface of the lake. Like stars shining in its depths. She strode eagerly, thoughts of a beloved face in her mind. Wanting to see her, to breathe the same air, to hold her close. “ _Maria…”_ Her name a prayer on Miang’s lips as she hastened. 

Miang mounted the stairs quickly and entered their room. It was quiet, empty. Miang paused, disappointed. She would have to wait. Busying herself, she showered. Changing into a blue silk chemise, trimmed with lace. She walked out of the bathroom. The lights were off. A light floral scent in the air. 

Miang walked slowly towards the bed, careful not to trip. Arms embraced her from behind, spinning her. A fierce kiss, parting her lips. Nibbling, delving, with teeth and tongue. _Maria._

Miang responded, heat flaring in her belly. Wanting only this, only this. To feel her love’s hands and mouth upon her. Her knees buckled, and she collapsed upon the bed. Whimpering her need as Maria crawled up her body, peppering her with kisses. 

Maria straddled Miang, taking control. She pulled the silk from her body, face flushed with desire. Eyes adoring. Heated emerald meeting blue. Hastily discarding clothes, they reveled each other’s touch. Maria’s hands and mouth reverent, worshipping her love. Miang responded, overcome with fevered joy. _IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou_ , spilling from her lips.

They tangled together, enthralled by each touch, each taste, each kiss, until they lay spent. 

Miang woke, the rose light of dawn outside their window. Maria beside her on the bed, her hair a wild mane of silver. Her lips parted, flushed from kissing. Maria stretched drowsily, a slow, sated smile on her face. A flash of light between her breasts caught Miang’s eye. Miang reached for it, grasping a small object suspended from a delicate chain. A pendant. Sapphire framed in silver. 

Maria blushed. “I kept it,” she said. “I never took it off.” She paused. “Even when we fought, even when you fell.” “Why?” asked Miang. “Because you gave it to me, and I never wanted to forget you,” Maria said. “I kept it near my heart, like you.” “You never forgot?” asked Miang. “No,” Maria said. “And I remembered what you told me. That one day if I needed it, it might help me.” 

Maria leaned her head against Miang’s. “I kept it, and warmed it against my skin,” she said. “A talisman, a charm, a prayer.” “A prayer?” echoed Miang. “Yes, a prayer,” Maria said. “That one day you would return to me.” Maria wrapped her arms around Miang, threading her fingers through indigo hair. Eyes glittering with joyful tears. “And you did,” she said, kissing Miang gently. “You’re here, and that’s all of heaven I’ll ever ask.”

 

 

_fin_

 

  

 

 

 

 

 


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